Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
