Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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