Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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