they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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