he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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