I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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