He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
