i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
