You work out of a Hotel?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
