I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
