some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
