i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
