i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
He called his prostate his "boner button".
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
