Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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