You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
