I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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