Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
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