I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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