did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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