you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
