And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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