and next time when you feel me up, do it right
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
