Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
