quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
