i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Randomize