i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
