that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
