Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
