When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
