i dedicated my morning wood to you.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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