What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
