and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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