I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
