do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Terrible idea I love it
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize