just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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