We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
