who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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