I think my vagina is haunted
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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