You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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