Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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