After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Randomize
