Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
3 2 1 whiskey
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
