Betty ford says i'm here all night
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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