I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
