Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize