you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
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