So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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