Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize
