i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
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