he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
