OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
