I think my vagina is haunted
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
