I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
