They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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