I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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