The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
