just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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