Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
