If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
