Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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