well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
