that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize