didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
