She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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