he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
All I want is dick and wine.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
