if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
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