forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
No subtext here. People are naked.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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