Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize