Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
I just found puke in my bra..
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
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