fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
