just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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